I take the time to make sure my girls and Rick have all the fruits and veggies and proteins, good foods and whole grains. I make sure they eat them...but I have a serious problem with feeding myself. Today, for example, Reilly made eggs. I had three eggs, with about an ounce of summer sausage and a tablespoon of cheese and two tablespoons of salsa. That was at 6:15. At 10:00 I was hungry, my tummy was rumbling and everything. So I had a whole wheat bagel, with about 2 tablespoons of whipped cream cheese (whipped spreads thinner). By the time I talked to you, I was starving, tummy growling, a little light headed. Rick raised his voice to me when I told him that I didn't want to stop and eat. I said I'd wait until I got home, that I'd been eating all damn morning and I wasn't going to waste away....we both knew that by the time I got home I would have waited until dinner to eat.
So, I called back, told him about the talk with Tracy, and weight watchers and the nutrition plan. And he said GOOD! You need to eat. I told him its hard, that I've been doing this for 14 years... and that's when Reilly's beautiful face swam up and interrupted my thoughts. I can't imagine how much of a hypocrite she must think I am. I hover over every bite she takes, making sure that she's accepting of her figure and eating properly, being healthy. I never thought I would still be anorexic....because I weigh 266 pounds, and fat chicks aren't normally thought of as anorexic. But, I guess its like alcoholism....I'll have to take it one day at a time, and re-wire my mind.
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